(no title)

I’ve just returned from Chicago. It was a rather trying time and I’m glad to be home sooner than expected. I’ve learned a lot over the past year and one of the biggest lessons is how to feed and nourish myself without consuming orange soda and Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies. Coming home to lilacs, lily of the Valley and irises in bloom is as good as a shot of vitamin B for my mood and energy. I love this house and all the plants that came with it. A little glass teapot of dainty stems in the sun room has filled me up. . .

to the top.

I plan to post more often, but am on the run today.

Here is something to hold you until the next time. Do you ever long to find your “Kindreds”? People who share your passions? I think I found one. I haven’t approached her yet, but I have a feeling we’d do some good collaboration on a songwriting project I’ve been keeping private!

1 comment

May 25, 2013

put a little love in your heart

My girl loves this house. She races from window to window following the kids who pass by every weekday morning and afternoon. The house was built in 1888 and has three window seats. I pulled the cushions off because they are thin and worn, but plan to stitch up some covers modeled after pillowcases by fall. I think they’ll see a lot of action.

I’m busy now. . .back to Chicago for who knows how long to help care for my grandmother. I do this because it is right to do and I want to help, but she has entered the abusive stage of old age and it wears me out. Her verbal/emotional abuse is becoming epic and is mostly directed towards me because I was the “change maker” when it came to her move from her home and loss of independence. She’ll be ninety-one soon and has two kinds of cancer and emphysema so it is remarkable that she lived on her own for so long anyway.

I recently told my brother that the grandma I loved is long gone and I said my goodbyes and made my peace with her. Now, we are left caring for this tiny frail body which houses a personality that makes Mama Lift look like a real sweetheart!

Recently, she threw a fit about something and called me a, “Fat, ugly, sticky-fingered goblin-faced dirty louse!” She warned me that I am never to call her grandma again because I’m too mean to be her granddaughter.

Later, she fretted because I wasn’t wearing a coat when we went to the doctor and she worried that my arms would be cold. I commented that her remarks almost sounded grandmotherly and that I might listen if they were coming from someone who allowed me to call her grandma.

She looked at me and said, ” I’m a bitch. I’ve been so horrible-awful. Just terrible. I don’t know why I cannot stop myself from saying horrible-awful things.” I replied that she’s angry, feels like she has no control, is dying with many life regrets and that getting sick and old sucks.

A few days before we’d had a discussion because she didn’t understand the term “validate your feelings”. It’s one that her caregiver uses frequently.

She thanked me for so “eloquently” validating her feelings and we had a good laugh. Her sense of humor is still hanging in there.

I’ll be camping before I return to her care. A full report on the trip will appear in a week or two.

In the meantime. . .This is from Rachael Rice…love her music.

Put a Little Love in your Heart

I am also going camping soon.

May 23, 2013

showing a little . . . telling a little

Right now I am playing a vintage Nina Simone record that once belonged to my grandmother, then my father and now me. I am on the downstairs of a big old Victorian house with hardwood floors, hodgepodge but loved furniture and even though it is dark and I can’t see out of the windows, I know the herb garden I dug and planted is out there. There are lilacs budding as well as more Lily of the Valley flowers than my neighbor Jeanne would care to count. She’s not a fan because they have a habit of spreading and taking over, but I’ve always fantasized about having them grow on land I tend.

The house is still and so am I. I think I hear us breathing. Me, the house and Nina. Unpacking is slow, but I’m settling in. The lilacs are tall enough to reach my bedroom window on the second floor. I need sleep, but that’s nothing new. I have a grandmother in hospice care who has become paranoid enough to think I’m stealing from her. I miss my father terribly and I’ve been a little depressed. Yet, in this moment I couldn’t be more content or feel more peaceful. This house is shelter for my spirit and a long awaited dream come true. I think it is mutual. I have fallen in love with this house and it has fallen in love with me.

A few pics of small happenings around here. You’ll have to take my word for it when it comes to the tiny feather that blew away before I could snap a photo, but if you look closely at one of the pictures, you will see the dainty blue egg shell I found the same day. The unpacking is slow, but little sections are coming together. I always hang the art and place the plants last. Finished pictures will be posted in good time.

The bouquet is the first of the season. Lily of the Valley, Violets and chive flowers.

I’ve been introduced to a poet by Liane over at enhabiten.

I want to share him too.

John Spaulding

1 comment

February 14, 2013

nothing but light in the dark

Happy Valentine’s Day. I’ve been waiting to share this poem…

Carnal Apple, Woman Filled, Burning Moon,

Carnal apple, Woman filled, burning moon,
dark smell of seaweed, crush of mud and light,
what secret knowledge is clasped between your pillars?
What primal night does Man touch with his senses?
Ay, Love is a journey through waters and stars,
through suffocating air, sharp tempests of grain:
Love is a war of lightning,
and two bodies ruined by a single sweetness.
Kiss by kiss I cover your tiny infinity,
your margins, your rivers, your diminutive villages,
and a genital fire, transformed by delight,
slips through the narrow channels of blood
to precipitate a nocturnal carnation,
to be, and be nothing but light in the dark.

Pablo Neruda

It isn’t ee, but that’s OK…it gets the job done.

And because it’s funny to me at least:

2 comments

January 28, 2013

changes

“Had Seu Jorge not recorded my songs in Portuguese I would never have heard this new level of beauty which he has imbued them with.”

David Bowie

Things are changing over here…we have almost completely locked up our move to a gorgeous house. Just need to sign the lease before I start jumping up and down. I am feeling good about the next chapter in our lives and how our time will be spent in a place where so many of our comfort needs (light, space, air, flowers) will be met. I can’t wait.

Seu Jorge is a new discovery for me. If you like the one above, you will have to cancel all of your plans today if you watch this one because you will be unable to anything but stare dreamily out of a window…for hours.

January 24, 2013

capacity for delight

Ever since I gave up my “separate from the house” studio, I’ve been struggling to find a place for art in my life. I’m writing more than I ever have, but I still have the urge to make things once in awhile.

We are planning a move into a house not yet rented (but maybe found?) and I look forward to having some space to spread out. I’d love to just have all my tools out and waiting for me to accept the call of my muses even if I abandon the project midway.

I carved out a teeny space in our teeny apartment (430-460 square feet for two adults and a dog) and a few weeks ago realized that tiny as it is, it is a nice little place for me to write or toy with my art supplies.

It reminds me of this Julia Cameron (I think) quote:

“The capacity for delight is the ability to pay attention.”

I’m doing OK in this area.

For sure.

And speaking of doing OK?

Notice my vintage text thrift score…all letters (upper and lower), numbers and symbols for $8.00. I am thrilled. Over the moon!

Have a fine day.

6 comments

December 17, 2012

your love

your love.

December 16, 2012

my inner pearl

Good Sunday morning all.

I want to share the card I pulled for myself this morning from my set of Mystic Art Medicine cards. It is a picture of Mother Pearl….think of Janis Joplin unleashed with creative expression, feathers in her hair, adorned in beads and scarves, wild and caught up in a rocking soul opening spiritual jam session. Knowing who she is, loving who she is, in touch with the best of herself and truly radiating from her center. WOW!

It sounds great, but we also know the side of Janis that strayed from her center with tragic results.

Folks, I need this card because I have strayed very far from my center.

It isn’t that I have tried to conform to everyone’s expectation of who I should be. I have tried to conform to my own expectation of who I should be. I used to feel wild, untamed and bursting at the seams with creativity. I liked feeling endless and wired for full-on expression, however I didn’t do balance very well and would wind up overdoing it and neglecting my physical body. Plus, at times I was afraid of my own energy because I felt “crazy”. I tried to tame myself so I could feel more stable and found that food was a powerful tool and not in a good way (though it succeeded in the way I needed at the time). I ate sugar and junk because it brought me way down and numbed me. My body became heavy and weighted (literally weighted by over 100 pounds of extra ballast). I didn’t have the energy to think, feel or act in ways that challenged me or the people around me.

I’ve begun learning how to use food as a powerful tool to fuel and free my body instead of numbing it. It’s scary. I mean, it’s good, but it still freaks me out because I’ve begun to have sudden bursts of energy again. Instead of trusting they will balance out, I’ve found myself feeling afraid. Afraid I’ll get out of control, move too fast and burn myself out in mania. Yet, I also know that I am a different person now.

In the past I was disconnected from my center and didn’t trust. These days I am learning to trust myself with the wand that is my spirit.

I’m learning that I won’t blow up everything in the room just by using it.

Does that make sense to anyone out there?

OK…and I am a little late with randomly generated numbers, but the number that came up was 5!

Random numbers generated Dec 16 2012 at 11:32:16 by http://www.psychicscience.org
Free educational resources for parapsychology, psychical research & mind magic.

Congratulation dear Daisy! Please send your email address to: littleorangelaura(at)comcast.net! You are going to love Meg’s book!

2 comments

December 11, 2012

so much magnificence

I have to share the good news!

There are many talented women on the internet who love to give things away!

Yes. It’s true. Lucky us!

I feel compelled to list a few here tonight. I do hope you’ll visit their blogs and sites and become familiar with their work.

First on the hit parade is Susannah Conway’s offering Unravelling The Year Ahead 2013. This is available as a gifted download here. I printed mine off and took it to a coffee shop this afternoon. I didn’t rush. I took all the time necessary not only to bid a loving farewell to 2012, but to set clear and concise goals for 2013. It astounds me that this substantial offering is completely free. Please pass it on.

Then we have a book giveaway over on Susan Tuttle’s blog. She is offering a lucky reader a free copy of Personal Geographies: Explorations in Mixed Media Mapmaking! by Jill K. Berry. The book is gorgeous and the perfect tool to make artful and inspired maps of your personal journies. What a great way to chart the voyage of your life or the corners of your world. Just hop over here, look around and leave a comment.

I adore Laura Luquin and she has a gift for anyone who longs to deepen their connection with Nature. Signs and Symbols in Nature: A Beginner’s Guide for Enhancing Awareness of Spirit Guides and Messengers…is yours to download for free if you click here.

Every now and then you find a blogger who feels like a kindred spirit from the start. I was struck by Lis over at Dandelion Seeds and Dreams the moment I found her blog. She recently collaborated with a group of five wise souls to put together a workshop called The Bones of Wisdom: Identifying and Collecting Deep Personal Meaning. She is generously offering one gifted spot in the workshop all for the price of a comment. I hope this workshop lands in the hands of a person who really needs the connection!

OK. Now we have the advent event going on over at A Butterfly in my hair. I barely know where to start. Let’s just say that it is 20 days of 2 giveaways a day of indie handmade beauty! You need do nothing but leave a comment on any of the posts appearing daily that show an item you have become enchanted by. The winners are drawn a few days later and this keeps happening for 20 whole fricking days!!!! Do not be shy…enter every single one!

And, last but not least. I am doing a little giveaway over here! My marvelous health coach Meg has written an ebook called Salad Alchemy. It is so wonderful that I recently purchased a package of them to gift to friends this holiday season. Well, I have one left and I want to share it with you! Please leave a comment here and I will do a drawing on December 15th. You can comment right up to 11:59 on the 14th! I will announce the winner shortly after. Trust me, this book will change how you think about salad. My friend Kelly sent me this comment after making one of Meg’s magical salads.

“Ok, I tried the Power salad today, and it was pretty amazing.

Great colors, textures and flavor. It really looked and tasted like powerful sacred food.”

p.s. Please read Meg’s bio. She’s the real deal. She gets us.

5 comments

September 2, 2012

gratitude sunday

I’ve decided to participate in Taryn’s Gratitude Sunday tradition and have been looking forward to it for the whole week!

Gr a t i t u d e * S u n d a y

Sunday’s heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.

A list of gratitude.

I felt a little bit better this week and had enough energy not to bail out on a trip to Milwaukee’s Whole Foods where I found fresh turmeric root for $2.99 a pound-all the turmeric in the picture only cost .59 cents! I made a tea last night with turmeric and ginger. So good.

I appreciate my neighbor who left a little package of homemade chocolate zucchini bread at my doorstep along with a note that the bread was mostly unsweetened. It was delicious and I didn’t miss the sugar at all.

Lotus Wei flower essences (go to their site and take the flower quiz) handled the most insignificant customer service issue by gifting me a free bottle of Infinite Love…which, I am giving to my mother. I am so impressed and believe me, I feel guilty because they didn’t do anything wrong at all, but I accepted the bottle with gratitude because my mom is in need of some magic right now. I first learned of Lotus Wei through Boho Girl, but this post by Madelyn Mulvaney really hit the ball out of the park. Aren’t her photos gorgeous?

I was knocked out by Pixie Campbell’s gift of her entire summer Soul Lodge session…all of the lessons are downloadable and free. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to be working through the lessons, journeying with the drumming and watching the videos. What a treat for all of us who admire her work!

It seems that the holidays are coming early this year with so many generous give-aways and discounts:

I love Pinterest. So many images to inspire . . . I have so much fun pinning…feel free to follow me over there.

I appreciated my ~~glass salad~~ gemstone elixir bowl during the blue moon. It was a wedding gift to my grandparents in the 40′s. I used it to make blue moon water on the tiny patio of our apartment building. We share this patio with our neighbors and no one disturbed it during the two nights of blue moonbeam charging.

I appreciated the care the chef at Cafe Hollander in Milwaukee took when arranging the fruit on my waffle yesterday-apples, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries and blueberries covered the entire thing—it looked like a mandala.

I appreciated my in-laws and how fun they were to have along on our day trip yesterday. Lot’s of laughs and my mother in-law was so enthusiastic about all the places Mark and I were showing her. I was so happy that my father in-law felt well enough to go and he even got a little exercise which I think helps his aching knees.

And last, but not least…nettles!

2 comments

August 31, 2012

lila downs

Whoa.

1 comment

August 27, 2012

gratitude sundays 2

I’ve decided to participate in Taryn’s Gratitude Sundays tradition and have been looking forward to it for the whole week!

Gr a t i t u d e * S u n d a y

Sunday’s heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.

A list of gratitude.

This week I have appreciated:

Having my Grandma Lucille’s vintage tea tin…it’s perfect and even though it has been in my kitchen for years sometimes I don’t see it. Today I noticed and appreciated.

Supplies on hand: I made over a half-gallon of natural body wash and a wonderful herb tea for water retention with the supplies I had in my cabinet. Lucky me. I feel rich. My tea contains:

1 part lemon balm
2 parts nettle
1 part Lady’s mantle
2 parts oatstraw

I made a huge jar that will last me through the winter. This tea is also a great nerve soother and I need some soothing! I get a little crazy during election season.

My sweet little dog Selkie who loves me back every day. I love my girl.

Anne Lamott: “Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back.”

Happy end of the weekend everyone.

1 comment

August 19, 2012

gratitude sundays

I’ve decided to participate in Taryn’s Gratitude Sundays tradition and have been looking forward to it for most of the day!

G r a t i t u d e * S u n d a y

Sunday’s heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.

A list of gratitude.

This week I have appreciated:

The library. I love placing holds on-line and then the luxury receiving an email telling me my books have been pulled from the shelves and are ready for pick-up. I appreciate this service and it feels like a gift every time.

My new favorite tea. Fresh ginger root with a pinch of turmeric.

Progress. As you know, I haven’t been doing very well on the health front and am still anemic so on those days that I have enough energy to leave the house or even do some laundry I am grateful. I am seeing a specialist in diabetic endocrinology next month. I called to see if they could see me sooner than my late September appointment and they were able schedule it for two weeks earlier than planned!

More progress. I want to post about my wonderful health coach Meg, but feel like I need to wait just a little bit. However, every day I am grateful for her wisdom and her encouragement. She’s helping to prepare my body for big time healing and I can already see and feel changes. More on her soon.

Having a partner who is providing for us/time to heal. Since I became ill I have not been able to contribute much art income to our family. appreciate the fact that Mark’s hard work provides income and health insurance. I know his job isn’t easy, but I admire him so much for his dedication to it. I remember my own days with a boss and co-workers, the dread of calling in sick, feeling obligated to make-up time and having to explain to my boss why I was out. Sometimes I feel guilty because I no longer have to deal with that and so many people do or wish they had a job, but for now I just appreciate it so much. Even if I don’t feel well, I can frequently be heard saying, “I have the life.”.

Selkie. I love that dog so much it makes me cry just to think of it!

Cucumbers. My friend Janet gifted us with cucumbers from her garden. They were so good and so alive with healing life-force!

My blender. It isn’t fancy and is 19 years old, but it blends greens and frozen berries into the creamiest smoothies ever.

This idea. Brilliant and I love jewelry in bowls and dishes anyway. I found her on Pinterest.

Sheets. I love clean crisp white sheets. They make my whole night!

Memory. It’s been awhile, but sometimes I forget I am an experienced aromatherapist. I’ve needed my oils lately and love that all the knowledge is still there. I also want to give a shout out to Rosemary Gladstar one of my favorite herbalists and when I forget what I know about herbs, her books remind me.

If you have a blog and are inspired to make a gratitude list of your own, please link to Taryn’s blog so that everyone can share….if you don’t have a blog feel free to leave a list in the comments here.

Happy Sunday!

6 comments

July 22, 2012

Creative Charges

I’m not a singer, but I caught a song

It drifted through me and I grabbed on . . .

Writing is a tricky thing. I am never at a loss for ideas. I may suffer from writer’s inertia, but never from writer’s block. For quite a few years I’ve put my writing on the back burner. It is only this year that one could say I’ve picked up the pen again and it’s exciting. I feel closer to finishing some good work…closer than I ever have before.

I feel optimistic.

It was with that optimism that I was wandering Boswell Books in Milwaukee one afternoon when I picked up a book with a beautiful cover.

It made my heart stop.

It was my book.

It was my idea.

I opened it and couldn’t believe what I was reading.

With each line I felt more and more dismayed.

However, it wasn’t that I had actually been robbed, but rather I’d thrown something good away.

I believe inspiration for art, ideas, stories, poems, lyrics and other creative charges comes to us from a place outside of ourselves. That they are seeds swirling about the Universe and occasionally one drifts by us or through us and if we show it some attention it will linger awhile to see if the conditions are right for germination. However, if ignored, eventually our creative garden will be abandoned for more fruitful soil. After all, the seed has but one goal…to grow into whatever it knows it is meant to be. If you neglect the seed you can be sure it will leave and sow itself elsewhere.

This is what happened with “my book”. It was a special idea and it seemed to seek me out over and over again. I even played with it for awhile…toying with a few chapters here and there, but eventually I let it go. Actually, I didn’t let it go. I forgot about it. So it did what it had to and floated back into the creative currents only to be plucked from the ether by someone who was ready to nurse it so much more than I.

This isn’t to say I would have done it exactly as she did…the seed is part of it, but the process is a collaboration and she was much more willing to collaborate.

I will refrain from putting a link to the book here, because you or the author may not share my view on how these things work and I’d hate for anyone to feel that I’m being literal about her wonderful book being my idea.

I do know that a point has been drilled home for me. I must embrace the inspiration when it comes and get to work because it is only a matter of time before what seemed sparkly suddenly seems flat and that’s when I know I’m about to lose the chance to harness/harvest the brilliance.

I think this is true for most creative endeavors. I have artist friends who gasp when they see a painting in a gallery and know in their hearts that they started working on that very same idea months before, but abandoned the project and thus…lost it.

What do you think a person should do next? Do you think one should move on or do you think revisiting the work is a good idea because perhaps your interpretation still needs to be explored?

5 comments

July 8, 2012

summer sunday

I got started late today. I was in bed until after noon! I tried to salvage the day by making movie theater plans and dinner plans and rushing to take a shower, but there was no need. We’re hot and lazy. Instead we opted to stay in to eat organic Rainier cherries and drink rosewater lemonade made with edible flowers and mint. I have a nice dinner planned and we already chose a DVD to watch.

It sounds idyllic, but the only problem is that before dinner can be made, the kitchen needs to be cleaned and dishes must be washed. Maybe we’ll have pizza instead.

I have a few suggestions if you need some procrastination material and are not into facebook:

I love this man with his self-deprecating humor and fondness for his wife

Really? People suck.

Neil Gaiman on writing…I’m starting to learn…it’s the only way to go.

4 comments

July 6, 2012

Pine River Dairy

Last night we watched the fireworks. The one above was my favorite…the pinks were so PINK! I took this picture with my cell-phone and for once wasn’t worried about it being blurry. I think it’s perfect. Living a block away from the river has its perks.

Today we went to Pine River Dairy for ice cream. Twenty-five cent cones. I love that it wasn’t an anniversary special. They are inexpensive every day and a nice option for budget conscious families (with a car).

2 comments

July 3, 2012

easy living

via

Like much of the country we are experiencing a heat wave. Our little lakeside town is normally cool at night even after the hottest of summer days, but not this year. It’s been too hot for a sheet sleeping weather for three nights in a row. We live in a 100 year-old converted warehouse apartment without central air. So far our window air-conditioner has been fighting to maintain an inside temperature of about 80 degrees. We’ve been drinking fresh squeezed lemonade out of quart sized mason jars with lots of ice and it helps. Mark likes his plain while I add crushed mint to mine.

We’ve been bringing our dog to daycare where she can spend full days playing with other dogs (this is not a crate-care operation-they are awesome), running through the sprinkler, splashing in the kiddie pool and taking air-conditioned naps while listening to classical music. We’re embarrassed to tell about the classical music part, but it doesn’t cost extra. She’s a lucky dog. While she’s off gallivanting and chasing ice chips with her puppy friends, we’re both working from home in our underwear and standing in front of the fan.

I spent much of yesterday reworking the opening of my novel and it finally feels right. I have a lot of work to do, but I am crossing my fingers for a late fall finish.

That’s all I have for today. Except for the big tantrum I threw because somebody stole my dream job.

6 comments

June 29, 2012

dreaming in bad poetry

Last night was mostly a sleepless night. I’m not sure why. Our bedroom was cool despite the ninety degree day. I did sleep for an hour or so and had a dream.

I was on a bed with several people. One of them was a mixed media artist and poet. She had a volume of poems printed on white paper and pasted into a turquoise and yellow book. I opened it and this was one of them:

i’m sorry the media got involved

it was only meant for us

you have to admit

the sign on the door did say cash only

I was a little embarrassed for her, but then a Cuban man showed up and he had a family issue and needed my help. My dog Selkie was also running around and my grandfather was on the bed too. I woke up and jotted the dream down right away. I have no idea what it means.

Why on earth am I sharing this?

Let me make up for it with some link love for the coffee drinkers and writers out there:

money/grants for writers

Here’s a mint idea.

leftover coffee?

some gold amongst the straw

2 comments

June 29, 2012

crescendo

Crescendo: Gradually increasing in volume, force, or intensity.

I’ve been missing for awhile and not just from this space. My health issues finally reached their crescendo (I hope) and ended in a cancer scare that was more than a scare, but as of this moment is not a reality.

Fourteen visits to my physician’s office, the hospital, ultrasounds, stress tests and a surgical procedure. It takes a toll. I am relieved and am gradually regaining my strength.

I cannot seem to muster up energy to do anything lately, but my book has become important to me in a way that no other creative work has. Characters and places are being born. I feel as if story is pouring into me and my insides are scrambling to make room. This has to be a good thing, I believe.

In other news, my hollyhocks are finally blooming…starting at the bottom and working their way up.

Speaking of creative projects. My heart has been captured. I have what she has…a gypsy box filled with crystals and other magical delights…how much fun is it to see something you love and know you have your very own? Plus, I have a tent too.

2 comments

June 19, 2012

toosday

This picture paints such a dismal scene of our backyard, but with the thunder and rain we had yesterday I think it captures the mood. Next to the compost bin (which I made out of pallets, thank you very much!) is hollyhock. It’s the second year and we may get blooms.

Last week it was nice to sit at the picnic table and read the latest free offering from the health food store.

Of course, on rainy days we do have options:

Apparently there is a generation gap on twitter, “Who is Rodney King?”.

Yikes. I feel old.

Speaking of which, I’m feeling a little low-energy today, so it’s more random link love for you:

Adorable? Not.
Random Acts of Flowers
I’d like to try this on fabric.

Oh, and some wisdom from Pooh:

“You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything.

There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.”

1 comment

Carnal Apple, Woman Filled, Burning Moon,

Follow “”