I read Soule Mama’s post this morning and it made me feel peaceful. As I was reading of how her children view seasons, years and time I remembered similar discussions Adam and I had when we were little. We got such a kick out of calculating how old (ancient and crumbling) we would be in the year 2000. It seems hard to believe that we did grow up and not only hit that year, but it’s been twelve more years since that milestone.
It takes many years for a tree to bear fruit, but when it does….we’re so glad to have planted it. We don’t refuse to eat its offerings because they didn’t come sooner, yet it is so much fun to put in peas or lettuce and know that with a little attention, we will have salads in a matter of weeks.
Her post made me think about how important it is to have projects and plans….long-term and short-term. Something always in the soil so to speak. I like the instant win I feel when I make a mirror or a wallet or a journal, but I also know that my time spent writing is valuable and someday all those pages filled with words that seem so disjointed in the moment will someday reach their blossom time and I’ll be so happy to have written them.
I have been writing more these days and finally added Morning Pages back to my daily routine. I realized that writing is more important to me than anything and yet I am afraid of it. I think it is because I have always known it is what I am meant to do….I have stories to tell and it scares me that somehow I won’t tell them well enough or worse…that they won’t be understood. I am just beginning to let that go. I’m in the early stages of shaking off the fear.
I also think of how my weight has ballooned and my health has deteriorated and of how years ago, I didn’t think in terms of seasons. I wanted instant weight loss and health and it didn’t happen. Now I am finally understanding that little seeds of self care may not pop out of the earth tomorrow, but they will break through at some point and I won’t be unfriendly when they do. I can see the value in taking action and letting my current body merge with my future body slowly without the big impact I used to crave. I can be patient.
I am so glad for the internet…to think that one person’s blog post this morning opened up a whole world of thought in my studio while I sat drinking tea.
I know the picture doesn’t quite fit the post, but I did a search on etsy for blossoms and this popped up. Isn’t it great? I remember the song and it used to embarrass me, in fact it was the only song I requested the D.J. not play at our wedding because I didn’t want to be reminded of my own ample derriere that day or feel foolish if somehow I ended up being the only one on the dance floor when it was playing. Isn’t that nuts? Especially the part about me not wanting to feel foolish considering that I went full-out John Travolta on the dance floor with my friend Sandi when Stayin’ Alive came on.
