daily musings |

Category: daily musings

May 23, 2013

showing a little . . . telling a little

Right now I am playing a vintage Nina Simone record that once belonged to my grandmother, then my father and now me. I am on the downstairs of a big old Victorian house with hardwood floors, hodgepodge but loved furniture and even though it is dark and I can’t see out of the windows, I know the herb garden I dug and planted is out there. There are lilacs budding as well as more Lily of the Valley flowers than my neighbor Jeanne would care to count. She’s not a fan because they have a habit of spreading and taking over, but I’ve always fantasized about having them grow on land I tend.

The house is still and so am I. I think I hear us breathing. Me, the house and Nina. Unpacking is slow, but I’m settling in. The lilacs are tall enough to reach my bedroom window on the second floor. I need sleep, but that’s nothing new. I have a grandmother in hospice care who has become paranoid enough to think I’m stealing from her. I miss my father terribly and I’ve been a little depressed. Yet, in this moment I couldn’t be more content or feel more peaceful. This house is shelter for my spirit and a long awaited dream come true. I think it is mutual. I have fallen in love with this house and it has fallen in love with me.

A few pics of small happenings around here. You’ll have to take my word for it when it comes to the tiny feather that blew away before I could snap a photo, but if you look closely at one of the pictures, you will see the dainty blue egg shell I found the same day. The unpacking is slow, but little sections are coming together. I always hang the art and place the plants last. Finished pictures will be posted in good time.

The bouquet is the first of the season. Lily of the Valley, Violets and chive flowers.

I’ve been introduced to a poet by Liane over at enhabiten.

I want to share him too.

John Spaulding

1 comment

February 14, 2013

nothing but light in the dark

Happy Valentine’s Day. I’ve been waiting to share this poem…

Carnal Apple, Woman Filled, Burning Moon,

Carnal apple, Woman filled, burning moon,
dark smell of seaweed, crush of mud and light,
what secret knowledge is clasped between your pillars?
What primal night does Man touch with his senses?
Ay, Love is a journey through waters and stars,
through suffocating air, sharp tempests of grain:
Love is a war of lightning,
and two bodies ruined by a single sweetness.
Kiss by kiss I cover your tiny infinity,
your margins, your rivers, your diminutive villages,
and a genital fire, transformed by delight,
slips through the narrow channels of blood
to precipitate a nocturnal carnation,
to be, and be nothing but light in the dark.

Pablo Neruda

It isn’t ee, but that’s OK…it gets the job done.

And because it’s funny to me at least:

2 comments

January 28, 2013

changes

“Had Seu Jorge not recorded my songs in Portuguese I would never have heard this new level of beauty which he has imbued them with.”

David Bowie

Things are changing over here…we have almost completely locked up our move to a gorgeous house. Just need to sign the lease before I start jumping up and down. I am feeling good about the next chapter in our lives and how our time will be spent in a place where so many of our comfort needs (light, space, air, flowers) will be met. I can’t wait.

Seu Jorge is a new discovery for me. If you like the one above, you will have to cancel all of your plans today if you watch this one because you will be unable to anything but stare dreamily out of a window…for hours.

January 24, 2013

capacity for delight

Ever since I gave up my “separate from the house” studio, I’ve been struggling to find a place for art in my life. I’m writing more than I ever have, but I still have the urge to make things once in awhile.

We are planning a move into a house not yet rented (but maybe found?) and I look forward to having some space to spread out. I’d love to just have all my tools out and waiting for me to accept the call of my muses even if I abandon the project midway.

I carved out a teeny space in our teeny apartment (430-460 square feet for two adults and a dog) and a few weeks ago realized that tiny as it is, it is a nice little place for me to write or toy with my art supplies.

It reminds me of this Julia Cameron (I think) quote:

“The capacity for delight is the ability to pay attention.”

I’m doing OK in this area.

For sure.

And speaking of doing OK?

Notice my vintage text thrift score…all letters (upper and lower), numbers and symbols for $8.00. I am thrilled. Over the moon!

Have a fine day.

6 comments

December 16, 2012

my inner pearl

Good Sunday morning all.

I want to share the card I pulled for myself this morning from my set of Mystic Art Medicine cards. It is a picture of Mother Pearl….think of Janis Joplin unleashed with creative expression, feathers in her hair, adorned in beads and scarves, wild and caught up in a rocking soul opening spiritual jam session. Knowing who she is, loving who she is, in touch with the best of herself and truly radiating from her center. WOW!

It sounds great, but we also know the side of Janis that strayed from her center with tragic results.

Folks, I need this card because I have strayed very far from my center.

It isn’t that I have tried to conform to everyone’s expectation of who I should be. I have tried to conform to my own expectation of who I should be. I used to feel wild, untamed and bursting at the seams with creativity. I liked feeling endless and wired for full-on expression, however I didn’t do balance very well and would wind up overdoing it and neglecting my physical body. Plus, at times I was afraid of my own energy because I felt “crazy”. I tried to tame myself so I could feel more stable and found that food was a powerful tool and not in a good way (though it succeeded in the way I needed at the time). I ate sugar and junk because it brought me way down and numbed me. My body became heavy and weighted (literally weighted by over 100 pounds of extra ballast). I didn’t have the energy to think, feel or act in ways that challenged me or the people around me.

I’ve begun learning how to use food as a powerful tool to fuel and free my body instead of numbing it. It’s scary. I mean, it’s good, but it still freaks me out because I’ve begun to have sudden bursts of energy again. Instead of trusting they will balance out, I’ve found myself feeling afraid. Afraid I’ll get out of control, move too fast and burn myself out in mania. Yet, I also know that I am a different person now.

In the past I was disconnected from my center and didn’t trust. These days I am learning to trust myself with the wand that is my spirit.

I’m learning that I won’t blow up everything in the room just by using it.

Does that make sense to anyone out there?

OK…and I am a little late with randomly generated numbers, but the number that came up was 5!

Random numbers generated Dec 16 2012 at 11:32:16 by http://www.psychicscience.org
Free educational resources for parapsychology, psychical research & mind magic.

Congratulation dear Daisy! Please send your email address to: littleorangelaura(at)comcast.net! You are going to love Meg’s book!

2 comments

December 11, 2012

so much magnificence

I have to share the good news!

There are many talented women on the internet who love to give things away!

Yes. It’s true. Lucky us!

I feel compelled to list a few here tonight. I do hope you’ll visit their blogs and sites and become familiar with their work.

First on the hit parade is Susannah Conway’s offering Unravelling The Year Ahead 2013. This is available as a gifted download here. I printed mine off and took it to a coffee shop this afternoon. I didn’t rush. I took all the time necessary not only to bid a loving farewell to 2012, but to set clear and concise goals for 2013. It astounds me that this substantial offering is completely free. Please pass it on.

Then we have a book giveaway over on Susan Tuttle’s blog. She is offering a lucky reader a free copy of Personal Geographies: Explorations in Mixed Media Mapmaking! by Jill K. Berry. The book is gorgeous and the perfect tool to make artful and inspired maps of your personal journies. What a great way to chart the voyage of your life or the corners of your world. Just hop over here, look around and leave a comment.

I adore Laura Luquin and she has a gift for anyone who longs to deepen their connection with Nature. Signs and Symbols in Nature: A Beginner’s Guide for Enhancing Awareness of Spirit Guides and Messengers…is yours to download for free if you click here.

Every now and then you find a blogger who feels like a kindred spirit from the start. I was struck by Lis over at Dandelion Seeds and Dreams the moment I found her blog. She recently collaborated with a group of five wise souls to put together a workshop called The Bones of Wisdom: Identifying and Collecting Deep Personal Meaning. She is generously offering one gifted spot in the workshop all for the price of a comment. I hope this workshop lands in the hands of a person who really needs the connection!

OK. Now we have the advent event going on over at A Butterfly in my hair. I barely know where to start. Let’s just say that it is 20 days of 2 giveaways a day of indie handmade beauty! You need do nothing but leave a comment on any of the posts appearing daily that show an item you have become enchanted by. The winners are drawn a few days later and this keeps happening for 20 whole fricking days!!!! Do not be shy…enter every single one!

And, last but not least. I am doing a little giveaway over here! My marvelous health coach Meg has written an ebook called Salad Alchemy. It is so wonderful that I recently purchased a package of them to gift to friends this holiday season. Well, I have one left and I want to share it with you! Please leave a comment here and I will do a drawing on December 15th. You can comment right up to 11:59 on the 14th! I will announce the winner shortly after. Trust me, this book will change how you think about salad. My friend Kelly sent me this comment after making one of Meg’s magical salads.

“Ok, I tried the Power salad today, and it was pretty amazing.

Great colors, textures and flavor. It really looked and tasted like powerful sacred food.”

p.s. Please read Meg’s bio. She’s the real deal. She gets us.

5 comments

September 2, 2012

gratitude sunday

I’ve decided to participate in Taryn’s Gratitude Sunday tradition and have been looking forward to it for the whole week!

Gr a t i t u d e * S u n d a y

Sunday’s heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.

A list of gratitude.

I felt a little bit better this week and had enough energy not to bail out on a trip to Milwaukee’s Whole Foods where I found fresh turmeric root for $2.99 a pound-all the turmeric in the picture only cost .59 cents! I made a tea last night with turmeric and ginger. So good.

I appreciate my neighbor who left a little package of homemade chocolate zucchini bread at my doorstep along with a note that the bread was mostly unsweetened. It was delicious and I didn’t miss the sugar at all.

Lotus Wei flower essences (go to their site and take the flower quiz) handled the most insignificant customer service issue by gifting me a free bottle of Infinite Love…which, I am giving to my mother. I am so impressed and believe me, I feel guilty because they didn’t do anything wrong at all, but I accepted the bottle with gratitude because my mom is in need of some magic right now. I first learned of Lotus Wei through Boho Girl, but this post by Madelyn Mulvaney really hit the ball out of the park. Aren’t her photos gorgeous?

I was knocked out by Pixie Campbell’s gift of her entire summer Soul Lodge session…all of the lessons are downloadable and free. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to be working through the lessons, journeying with the drumming and watching the videos. What a treat for all of us who admire her work!

It seems that the holidays are coming early this year with so many generous give-aways and discounts:

I love Pinterest. So many images to inspire . . . I have so much fun pinning…feel free to follow me over there.

I appreciated my ~~glass salad~~ gemstone elixir bowl during the blue moon. It was a wedding gift to my grandparents in the 40′s. I used it to make blue moon water on the tiny patio of our apartment building. We share this patio with our neighbors and no one disturbed it during the two nights of blue moonbeam charging.

I appreciated the care the chef at Cafe Hollander in Milwaukee took when arranging the fruit on my waffle yesterday-apples, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries and blueberries covered the entire thing—it looked like a mandala.

I appreciated my in-laws and how fun they were to have along on our day trip yesterday. Lot’s of laughs and my mother in-law was so enthusiastic about all the places Mark and I were showing her. I was so happy that my father in-law felt well enough to go and he even got a little exercise which I think helps his aching knees.

And last, but not least…nettles!

2 comments

August 31, 2012

lila downs

Whoa.

1 comment

July 22, 2012

Creative Charges

I’m not a singer, but I caught a song

It drifted through me and I grabbed on . . .

Writing is a tricky thing. I am never at a loss for ideas. I may suffer from writer’s inertia, but never from writer’s block. For quite a few years I’ve put my writing on the back burner. It is only this year that one could say I’ve picked up the pen again and it’s exciting. I feel closer to finishing some good work…closer than I ever have before.

I feel optimistic.

It was with that optimism that I was wandering Boswell Books in Milwaukee one afternoon when I picked up a book with a beautiful cover.

It made my heart stop.

It was my book.

It was my idea.

I opened it and couldn’t believe what I was reading.

With each line I felt more and more dismayed.

However, it wasn’t that I had actually been robbed, but rather I’d thrown something good away.

I believe inspiration for art, ideas, stories, poems, lyrics and other creative charges comes to us from a place outside of ourselves. That they are seeds swirling about the Universe and occasionally one drifts by us or through us and if we show it some attention it will linger awhile to see if the conditions are right for germination. However, if ignored, eventually our creative garden will be abandoned for more fruitful soil. After all, the seed has but one goal…to grow into whatever it knows it is meant to be. If you neglect the seed you can be sure it will leave and sow itself elsewhere.

This is what happened with “my book”. It was a special idea and it seemed to seek me out over and over again. I even played with it for awhile…toying with a few chapters here and there, but eventually I let it go. Actually, I didn’t let it go. I forgot about it. So it did what it had to and floated back into the creative currents only to be plucked from the ether by someone who was ready to nurse it so much more than I.

This isn’t to say I would have done it exactly as she did…the seed is part of it, but the process is a collaboration and she was much more willing to collaborate.

I will refrain from putting a link to the book here, because you or the author may not share my view on how these things work and I’d hate for anyone to feel that I’m being literal about her wonderful book being my idea.

I do know that a point has been drilled home for me. I must embrace the inspiration when it comes and get to work because it is only a matter of time before what seemed sparkly suddenly seems flat and that’s when I know I’m about to lose the chance to harness/harvest the brilliance.

I think this is true for most creative endeavors. I have artist friends who gasp when they see a painting in a gallery and know in their hearts that they started working on that very same idea months before, but abandoned the project and thus…lost it.

What do you think a person should do next? Do you think one should move on or do you think revisiting the work is a good idea because perhaps your interpretation still needs to be explored?

5 comments

July 8, 2012

summer sunday

I got started late today. I was in bed until after noon! I tried to salvage the day by making movie theater plans and dinner plans and rushing to take a shower, but there was no need. We’re hot and lazy. Instead we opted to stay in to eat organic Rainier cherries and drink rosewater lemonade made with edible flowers and mint. I have a nice dinner planned and we already chose a DVD to watch.

It sounds idyllic, but the only problem is that before dinner can be made, the kitchen needs to be cleaned and dishes must be washed. Maybe we’ll have pizza instead.

I have a few suggestions if you need some procrastination material and are not into facebook:

I love this man with his self-deprecating humor and fondness for his wife

Really? People suck.

Neil Gaiman on writing…I’m starting to learn…it’s the only way to go.

4 comments

July 3, 2012

easy living

via

Like much of the country we are experiencing a heat wave. Our little lakeside town is normally cool at night even after the hottest of summer days, but not this year. It’s been too hot for a sheet sleeping weather for three nights in a row. We live in a 100 year-old converted warehouse apartment without central air. So far our window air-conditioner has been fighting to maintain an inside temperature of about 80 degrees. We’ve been drinking fresh squeezed lemonade out of quart sized mason jars with lots of ice and it helps. Mark likes his plain while I add crushed mint to mine.

We’ve been bringing our dog to daycare where she can spend full days playing with other dogs (this is not a crate-care operation-they are awesome), running through the sprinkler, splashing in the kiddie pool and taking air-conditioned naps while listening to classical music. We’re embarrassed to tell about the classical music part, but it doesn’t cost extra. She’s a lucky dog. While she’s off gallivanting and chasing ice chips with her puppy friends, we’re both working from home in our underwear and standing in front of the fan.

I spent much of yesterday reworking the opening of my novel and it finally feels right. I have a lot of work to do, but I am crossing my fingers for a late fall finish.

That’s all I have for today. Except for the big tantrum I threw because somebody stole my dream job.

6 comments

June 29, 2012

dreaming in bad poetry

Last night was mostly a sleepless night. I’m not sure why. Our bedroom was cool despite the ninety degree day. I did sleep for an hour or so and had a dream.

I was on a bed with several people. One of them was a mixed media artist and poet. She had a volume of poems printed on white paper and pasted into a turquoise and yellow book. I opened it and this was one of them:

i’m sorry the media got involved

it was only meant for us

you have to admit

the sign on the door did say cash only

I was a little embarrassed for her, but then a Cuban man showed up and he had a family issue and needed my help. My dog Selkie was also running around and my grandfather was on the bed too. I woke up and jotted the dream down right away. I have no idea what it means.

Why on earth am I sharing this?

Let me make up for it with some link love for the coffee drinkers and writers out there:

money/grants for writers

Here’s a mint idea.

leftover coffee?

some gold amongst the straw

2 comments

June 29, 2012

crescendo

Crescendo: Gradually increasing in volume, force, or intensity.

I’ve been missing for awhile and not just from this space. My health issues finally reached their crescendo (I hope) and ended in a cancer scare that was more than a scare, but as of this moment is not a reality.

Fourteen visits to my physician’s office, the hospital, ultrasounds, stress tests and a surgical procedure. It takes a toll. I am relieved and am gradually regaining my strength.

I cannot seem to muster up energy to do anything lately, but my book has become important to me in a way that no other creative work has. Characters and places are being born. I feel as if story is pouring into me and my insides are scrambling to make room. This has to be a good thing, I believe.

In other news, my hollyhocks are finally blooming…starting at the bottom and working their way up.

Speaking of creative projects. My heart has been captured. I have what she has…a gypsy box filled with crystals and other magical delights…how much fun is it to see something you love and know you have your very own? Plus, I have a tent too.

2 comments

June 19, 2012

toosday

This picture paints such a dismal scene of our backyard, but with the thunder and rain we had yesterday I think it captures the mood. Next to the compost bin (which I made out of pallets, thank you very much!) is hollyhock. It’s the second year and we may get blooms.

Last week it was nice to sit at the picnic table and read the latest free offering from the health food store.

Of course, on rainy days we do have options:

Apparently there is a generation gap on twitter, “Who is Rodney King?”.

Yikes. I feel old.

Speaking of which, I’m feeling a little low-energy today, so it’s more random link love for you:

Adorable? Not.
Random Acts of Flowers
I’d like to try this on fabric.

Oh, and some wisdom from Pooh:

“You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything.

There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.”

1 comment

June 17, 2012

my cup of tea

I did a good faith search to fine the original source of this photo, but after finding it on Pinterest and following link after link after link…I didn’t land anywhere near a site that names the source. My apologies.

Things that are my cup of tea:

vintage roly poly lowball glasses

pablo neruda’s take on the lemon

generous bloggers who share for free (oh, go ahead and fill it out…you might surprise yourself with your answers!)

I haven’t taken it, but want to.

Nick Drake’s Pink Moon (his is a sad tale)

4 comments

June 16, 2012

words of wisdom from marilyn monroe

In just these two pages of Marilyn Monroe’s diary/journal/notebook one can see how she was doing her best to work through complex issues. Some of it may be hard to read because of her handwriting. On the first page she is realizing that she is still obeying her Aunt Ida (her foster-mother), a woman who humiliated her often as a child.

Here is most of the first section…someone had the nerve to criticize her spelling…my God, I hope no one ever sees my journals. It makes me angry that there are people who view these words as finished poems and criticize them for being so poorly written. What? It is clear they were being “worked”. It is also clear some were just thoughts. Anyone who has ever attempted to write a poem based on inner feelings should understand the horror of dying only to have your thoughts surface as “finished works”.

Ida — I have still
been obeying her —
it’s not only harmful
for me to do so
but unrealality because
life starts from Now ….
working (doing my tasks that I
have set for myself)
On the stage — I will
not be punished for it
or be whipped
or be threatened
or not be loved
or sent to hell to burn with bad people
feeling that I am also bad.
or be afraid of my [genitals] being
or ashamed
exposed known and seen —
so what
or ashamed of my
sensitive feelings —

Other words of wisdom:

“I will be as sensitive as I am without being ashamed of it.”

“I haven’t had faith in life, meaning reality. Whatever is is or happens, there is nothing to hold onto but reality. To realize the present, whatever it may be. Because that’s how it is and it’s much better.”

“Its not to much fun to know yourself to well or think you do—everyone needs a little conciet to carry them through & past the falls.”

Marilyn Monroe

I am an avid reader of self-help and women’s discovery blogs. Let me tell you…similar words are all over the internet. Shame is a common theme among women (men too, but they don’t blog about it as much). I find her words sad, wise and deeply moving.

Here is a wonderful article on how they came to be.

If that’s too heavy for you on a gorgeous Saturday morning, feel free to hop over here for some culinary inspiration.

6 comments

June 15, 2012

it’s about the berries. they’re not local.

You ought to have seen what I saw on my way
To the village, through Mortenson’s pasture to-day:
Blueberries as big as the end of your thumb,
Real sky-blue, and heavy, and ready to drum

Robert Frost

I picked up a quart of deep red strawberries at the local farmer’s market on Tuesday. They were juicy, achingly sweet and perfect. Is there any other reason for the month of June?

I noticed at least fifty flats of blueberries at the booth. I asked the farmer where they came from since it seems a little early in the season. Michigan maybe?

Nope.

Florida.

I understand we had a late hard frost and probably won’t be seeing many peaches and blueberries out of Michigan, but it shocked me that the market is selling non-organic blueberries from Florida. We can get those at any grocery store in town. I know our farmers need to make a living even when the weather isn’t favorable, but it hardly seems in the spirit of things. Though, there is strong local demand (judging from the number of flats being sold).

I also hate to write this because I’m a firm small farmer supporter, but the blueberries didn’t have a sign indicating state of origin and it was very clear that shoppers were excited about them and assumed they were from Michigan (still over 100 miles away). The people working the stand were not correcting their assumptions.

I’m torn.

Blueberries mean income and I want our farmers to do well, but at the same time it seems strange to head on over to the town square to get some blueberries from Florida. I’ve never seen a pineapple or mango at our market and we all understand our climate isn’t right, so why can’t we just accept that sadly, this summer, the climate isn’t right and we won’t be seeing blueberries?

Why? Because it’s summertime and the American people want their blueberries big and perfect and here and now.

You may be thinking that supporting a local farmer and his “imports” is much more palatable than heading over to a Wal-Mart superstore to get the same ones and while I don’t disagree, I still find it disappointing on some level.

On a much more positive note, how about some berry poetry? I scoured the poems of my favorites (Pablo Neruda, ee cummings and Hafiz), but found nary a berry poem among them.

Robert Frost

Amy Lowell

Irving Layton

And one of the best berry pics ever as seen over at decor8, taken by John Cullen and found by me on Pinterest.

2 comments

June 14, 2012

gypsy beach queen

Want more?

Hop over to Gyspy Beach Queen.

2 comments

June 13, 2012

the lake, filthy love letters, mangos, writers

A lake carries you into recesses of feeling otherwise impenetrable.

William Wordsworth

I could get lost in the sound of waves and be happy ever after. A little known fact is that before I decided to move to Manitowoc, I had never been here. Not even for a visit.

I knew I needed to be near Lake Michigan and no other town sounded right. It was one of the rare times when I followed a calling. I love the lake and many aspects of my small town are charming, but I’ll admit to wondering why I’m here. What led me to this little town when there are so many other ones on the lakeshore? I feel my time here may be up, but there is no urgency or certainty in that feeling. We shall see what we shall see and that is that.

In other news:

Did you know that you can grow a mango tree/plant much the same way avocado trees were started in the 70′s?

James Joyce write some positively filthy love letters to lucky Nora. Check out December 8th. Who knew?

I like many of these tips for writers…especially Kurt Vonnegut’s.

2 comments

June 12, 2012

heART work

Today I will be cleaning the kitchen and working on my novel for young adults. Right now, it is my heart project.

Over the years I’ve divided projects into those that are “bread and butter” and those that are from my “heart”. Heart projects can be bread and butter projects too, but I take them more seriously. I’m emotionally invested.

Yesterday it was decided that from this point forward I will only work on heart projects. Life is too short. My deal with the Universe (yes, that is Universe with a capital U) is that I write the stories or make the art and it places the work for me. I do my part and it does the rest. Co-creation. So far so good.

Links make your day a little more lovely:

This interview with Kyo Maclear author of the sweetest book ever.

This book trailer for the above mentioned book. The song by Basia Bulat is gorgeous!

This how-to for making wine bottle vases. It scares me a little, but I may have to try it.

This e-course. I hope you watch the trailer.

And since heart projects were the subject today, let’s get to Basia Bulat’s Heart of My Own.

4 comments

Category: daily musings

Carnal Apple, Woman Filled, Burning Moon,

Follow “”