My girl loves this house. She races from window to window following the kids who pass by every weekday morning and afternoon. The house was built in 1888 and has three window seats. I pulled the cushions off because they are thin and worn, but plan to stitch up some covers modeled after pillowcases by fall. I think they’ll see a lot of action.
I’m busy now. . .back to Chicago for who knows how long to help care for my grandmother. I do this because it is right to do and I want to help, but she has entered the abusive stage of old age and it wears me out. Her verbal/emotional abuse is becoming epic and is mostly directed towards me because I was the “change maker” when it came to her move from her home and loss of independence. She’ll be ninety-one soon and has two kinds of cancer and emphysema so it is remarkable that she lived on her own for so long anyway.
I recently told my brother that the grandma I loved is long gone and I said my goodbyes and made my peace with her. Now, we are left caring for this tiny frail body which houses a personality that makes Mama Lift look like a real sweetheart!
Recently, she threw a fit about something and called me a, “Fat, ugly, sticky-fingered goblin-faced dirty louse!” She warned me that I am never to call her grandma again because I’m too mean to be her granddaughter.
Later, she fretted because I wasn’t wearing a coat when we went to the doctor and she worried that my arms would be cold. I commented that her remarks almost sounded grandmotherly and that I might listen if they were coming from someone who allowed me to call her grandma.
She looked at me and said, ” I’m a bitch. I’ve been so horrible-awful. Just terrible. I don’t know why I cannot stop myself from saying horrible-awful things.” I replied that she’s angry, feels like she has no control, is dying with many life regrets and that getting sick and old sucks.
A few days before we’d had a discussion because she didn’t understand the term “validate your feelings”. It’s one that her caregiver uses frequently.
She thanked me for so “eloquently” validating her feelings and we had a good laugh. Her sense of humor is still hanging in there.
I’ll be camping before I return to her care. A full report on the trip will appear in a week or two.
In the meantime. . .This is from Rachael Rice…love her music.
I am also going camping soon.